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How long do you want to rob the people around you from your presence and love?

This is one of the many provocative questions Max asked on this podcast.

We also discussed the three major transitions in a man’s life.

If you’re ready to step up, take action, and truly transform how you show up for your family, you won’t want to miss this one.

00:01
What I didn't expect was when I became a dad, I knew I was going to have to sacrifice. I knew it was going to take a lot of time, energy, and money. But I didn't expect that being able to provide for my wife and son and seeing them playing all day or doing what they're doing, I didn't expect to feel so great about seeing that.

00:20
I just had no idea that was coming and that's been interesting. Guys, we're on the YU Walk podcast. We do the talking, you do the walking. Today, my guest is Max Tromblet. Max, can I give you a little introduction here?

00:35
First and foremost, Max is a husband and a father. He's a mentor, a teacher, and a coach. Max trains men and women to life, purpose, emotional intelligence, intimacy, and conscious relationships. This is a quote that Max lives by.

00:49
Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing, the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in a giving set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. That's by Viktor Frank, old man's search for meaning.

01:02
Yes, it is. The perception of your own reality dictates the happiness and the joy in our lives. Guys, Max Tromblet has a great Instagram page. I can get stuck in it for a while. It's deep, it's heartfelt, it's often profound.

01:17
I was literally watching it yesterday. I got emotional and I was just saying, fuck yeah, dude, fuck yeah. So, Max, thanks for being here. It's an honor to have you. Yeah, man, I'm stoked to be here. Thanks for having me.

01:28
Thanks for the invitation and let's go. I got some good questions together. Yeah, let's start with. So you posted over the last few years a lot of videos on Instagram. People have responded to these videos.

01:43
Yeah, obviously, there's a lot of crazy people out there. But as far as the quality feedback, the authentic feedback, what is the most surprising thing that you've discovered from that feedback? Let's just go with online and not so much in the personal work.

02:01
Yeah. It's actually, that's an interesting question because I thought you were going to ask about the negative feedback, but the positive feedback, you know, the most surprising thing by far has been this energy of like being cheer led by people.

02:13
Like I get messages and comments all the time from men and women that are like, keep going. This is amazing. Thank you for what you do. Like it's an incredibly supportive community and a lot of them are the same names.

02:24
They pop up like every couple of weeks, something hits and they go, wow, they keep going. Thank you. This is what we need. And I've been getting, you know, in comments and DMs, I've been getting people who say like, your work has changed my, my relationship.

02:36
It's changed my life. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm just putting out free 90 second teachings on Instagram. I've been doing it for like, I don't know, maybe 18, 19 months. And I'm just getting a ton of positive, just genuine thanks and gratitude from people, which I didn't, I really didn't expect, you know?

02:54
That's interesting. Yeah. When I was doing videos and even when they weren't. Good. Yeah, even when they weren't good. I got this like people were like, look, man, you're trying and I appreciate that.

03:06
Keep trying. And exactly. Keep going. I want to get into this. So extraordinary people, most extraordinary people have to break through some sort of challenging situation in life. Yeah. In your previous life, externally, you had a beautiful form, you had a thriving career, but you said you felt unloved.

03:28
Can you share that story as it relates to your previous relationship and what got you passionate about the work that you do? Yeah. The easiest way I can describe this is that in my twenties, I fell in love with somebody I didn't know at the time, but it was a trauma bonded relationship.

03:44
She had a mental illness. I didn't know. I found out, you know, we were together about 10 years. I tried to serve her even with that mental illness. We built a company together. It was a photography business and we did really well.

03:54
We ended up buying a farm in Virginia, like 15 acres or something. And it had rolling hills and a pond and it was beautiful deer every day in the front yard. Like it was just a perfect moment. But when I arrived at that, what I realized did is that I had spent 10 years so focused on the business and so focused on the cash and just getting that property somewhere else that I had missed that this is like a horrendous relationship and I'm being abused by her emotions and like the whole safety of the relationship.

04:21
Like it was, it was out of line. And the other thing interestingly that happened is that during the end of that relationship, because our intimacy was dysfunctional and we weren't, you know, safe with each other, we ended up opening our relationship.

04:33
And so I got to experience sort of this open relationship dynamic for a couple of years. And that taught me a lot about consensual, clear, you know, communication in intimacy and creating relationships.

04:43
And then that went right into the dating life. And what I learned from all of it is like, yeah, it's fine, but, you know, for many people in that world of open relating, it's kind of a coping mechanism because their primary relationships are dysfunctional.

04:56
And there are some people that maybe that might not be the case or whatever. And I'm not going to, here to judge it. But I mean, if you're dating and you're looking for monogamy, avoid those people. If you're dating and you're open to whatever, great, they're useful.

05:04
And they're actually higher quality relators because they've had to learn, you know, strategies. So anyway, moving on from that. So I had this really weird last couple of years of a relationship with my ex -wife.

05:16
I didn't know what was going on. I was trying to figure it out with these different dynamics and relationship. And I worked on a farm. And as I was in that moment, I just realized how unsafe and how unfulfilled I was in love.

05:30
And I realized what I was doing, I was just like, I was just like grasping at any possibility of real love while my actual relationship was like horrendous. And I hadn't seen it, because I was so stuck in business.

05:40
I was building a company, I was building a business. And I was actually really good at the photography I was doing in the world that we were building. I was, I was, I was lit up by the experience of that company so much so that I just missed this like, horrible experience that was happening right next to me the whole time.

05:54
Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. So when I finally got to that farm and I was sitting on the front porch and I was like, wow, I've, I've arrived at the dream. It just got louder because all of a sudden it was just like, this is a horrible relationship.

06:08
Like she is treating me terribly. And, um, interestingly, after I filed for divorce, some of my friends were like, yeah, we saw it. And I was like, why didn't you say anything? Like what? Like all the people knew everyone knew.

06:19
And I will, here's what I'll say. Her intention was genuine and good. But when we have mental illnesses, they really affect how we express and what we believe. And, and so I, from where I sit today, I don't hold any ill will at my ex and I have a lot of pity for people that have mental illnesses, but I'm also a hell no to it.

06:36
And so when I started dating, I was like, I'm looking for a woman who's mentally fit, capable and vital and alive and wants to create a real relationship. So I dated from a grand awareness that I gleaned in the hardship of that moment.

06:49
Does that make sense? Yeah. So, um, there's a lot to chew on there. Good luck taking that in any direction. Well, it's almost like you'll see a similar pattern when people focus on externally, their materialistic things to you.

07:02
It was a farm and it was a good business, but some people, they look nice, they have nice clothes, nice cars, and everything externally is great. The thing that really matters the most, the person they communicate with all day, every day, the person that they connect with, if that's not there, I mean, the base of your pyramid is just destroyed.

07:20
And yeah, totally. And I, I was able to sustain for 10 years without focusing on that. And that's eventually what happened was I was like, wow, the like core part of this life is missing. It's on fire.

07:29
It's broken. And so my bad, my lack of consciousness. And so after my divorce, I did a lot of work to heal my past, to forgive my ex wife, to clear out the grief. And then I just went, okay, what's the life I want to create now?

07:44
And I decided at 35 that I wanted to find a woman to have kids with. And I wanted to create a powerful, like, part two, you know, basically the same kind of thing. Like I want to, I want to build a powerful company, but this time it's on my own.

07:56
terms, it's my company, I want to have my kids and become a father and really crush it at the dad game, like really be a good dad. And then also I want to do this while maintaining a beautifully, like highly passionate relationship with my wife.

08:08
And so that's what I decided at 35. And then I went, okay, what is it going to take to do that? And I learned and that's the thing that started everything. I started a men's circle, I started teaching when I was learning.

08:18
I've been doing that for 10 years, I trained in some men's work. And then I started doing facilitation on a large scale, lots of men, lots of men in deep process. And then I started coaching four years ago, and helping women and men just kind of have a better experience of life.

08:30
And that's kind of my life story. Like I'm the accidental coach, I didn't ever expect to come into this position, but I'm good at it. Good at it. And I've just, I started with some friends, they referred some people, they referred some people, and then it just all of a sudden, life of its own.

08:45
That's what I respect the most is the repetitions of deep experience that you've had. And that's what I want to dig into Yeah, totally. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. when select, all right, so this is for everybody else, okay?

08:58
When selecting a potential life partner. So not so much talking about preferences. I'm talking about like deal breakers and red flags. What are the one to three things, what are the things that people should really consider before selecting potential life partner?

09:15
Yeah, number one, if you're gonna date for a long -term life partner, the first thing you need to consider is what are you doing with your life? Really, like what are you really doing with your life?

09:23
If you're in your 20s or 30s and you think you might have kids at some point, that is absolutely non -negotiable. And you need to know that when you date so that you can date with somebody, you can date somebody that aligns with the possibility of having kids.

09:37
I deal with a lot of people who are 35 and beyond who can't find right partnership because they keep missing this. They keep getting into these six to year -long, six months to year -long relationships and they find out, oh, they didn't want kids after all.

09:47
It's like, stop doing that. Get really clear what you're creating with your life, one way or the other with the kids. And then the second thing would be, what's your lifestyle? There's something that's happening with people where they have two opposing lifestyles.

09:58
A lot of people are like, well, I want kids, but I wanna travel. And so what they do is they find someone that they meet that's like, oh, this guy likes to travel, but then it's like, oh, but he doesn't wanna have kids.

10:06
And so we have to get out of oppositional views when dating. We have to go, if I'm here to create a family, focus on that. And then the secondary thing we can build. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah, and so it's so important and getting into the actual vision, what's your, like, what are you gonna do with the next 20 years of your life?

10:22
And most people go, I don't know, but you kinda do, actually. It's just the, I don't know comes from too many options. And so, yeah, clarity, really ruthless clarity. Get that first. And then the second thing is, how do you experience love?

10:36
So what is your actual vision for your life? And then how do you experience love? And when you ask yourself, well, I experienced love through, you know, and there's love languages and other things, but physical touch, words of affirmation, you know, the whole deal, acts of service.

10:50
When you figure out how you experience love, when you're dating, you wanna find someone that actually lines up with your way of... Experiencing love and hopefully lines up with the way you give love and if you can do do that Then you don't have to do the whole thing where it's like well We love each other, but we just don't feel it so you can get right into a relationship where you're like wow She lights me up in love because her natural way of loving is aligned with my way of receiving love.

11:10
Does that make sense? And vice versa. So that's number two and the last thing and this is for men in particular The last thing is your relationship is not your end point your relationship is just a piece of life.

11:23
That's foundational So for men once you've figured out your relationship good Click it off. Like just be like go I'm cool with that and now go what are you doing with your life and stay on? That path because to light up your relationship to light up your partner You still have to be attuned to your purpose to your drive to the thing that's driving you and purpose is a really difficult thing For people to understand but ultimately it comes down to what is something so compelling that you can't not do in your life And if you can't figure out that answer then get around men that are doing compelling things so you can understand what I'm talking about Make sense Compelling things.

11:53
It sounds a little bit like the way of the superior man if anybody's familiar. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, David data He yeah, Napoleon Hill actually even earlier thinking go rich thinking thinking grow rich He talks about the mastermind in his book that he wrote in the early 1900s and one of the things I took away from that is if you just hang around with the guys you went to school with in high school like whoever the like most successful man is is the top of your chain like no one's gonna do better than that and So if you want to really become successful in like sex love intimacy financial success like life success in any other way You need to go like okay Where are the men that are succeeding there and how do I get in that?

12:30
And so by and large the only other option if you can't surround yourself with men read about them read about them and then Emulate what they've done from what you're reading and that's actually the path I've had to take I mean, I had some good mentors when I was younger in life men mentors But as an adult like I haven't really found any men that are operating at the level that I want to operate at And so I just went fuck it.

12:50
I'm gonna create it I'm gonna do it from what I'm learning and and then I'm gonna teach what I'm doing and that's what I've done And that's why I now lead men's work organizations because they're men that are like, how do I do what you're fucking doing?

13:02
You know like like you didn't you didn't jump in a lane that already existed. You said there's problems I'm gonna go solve it. I don't know how I'm gonna solve it But then you just start and now you got yeah freaking lane your own.

13:12
Yeah. Yeah It's working, but I will say I'm supported well by coaches And so I hired a coach a really expensive coach for business mastery. I hired a coach for fitness I hired a coach for a couple of things over the course of the past five years and By that's what you can do like, I mean, I'm in a financial position to be able to do that But you know if you can't if you don't have a lot of money try to get in the room with people If you have cash hire people,

13:37
it's actually more efficient. You know what I mean? I'll let you know when I find something that I disagree with you're saying max everything you freaking say Man, I come from a logical engineer dad My dad was just very brilliant and smart but logical as fuck and so for me to actually be able to work with him I had to explain things well.

13:54
And so I guess that's what it is, the dad wound. Anyway, well, speaking of that, most men, I got this website, most men don't receive, don't don't receive, well, I'm talking about how our missions are aligned, right?

14:08
Yeah. On your website, most men don't receive real guidance and emotionally mature support from their father's mentors or other men. Now, yes, I've got a bias. I don't like studies. I don't like certifications and credentials.

14:21
I like to rely on my own experience. And I don't have that. I want to find an expert that has tons of experience in a specific category. So as an expert in this space, strictly based off your personal experience, have you observed anything that might not be common knowledge?

14:40
Does anything jump out at you? Like, why are we not talking about this more? Yeah, the single most important thing that I'm developing. I'm developing because nobody's talking about it. And it's this idea around masculine initiations.

14:58
And the most that anyone talks about is the initiation from boyhood to manhood, but that's only one, and there's three. And the second one is from manhood to fatherhood, and the third one's fatherhood to eldership or elderhood.

15:08
And the reason that these are important is because across a man's life, you have to keep maturing and growing if you want to feel powerful and fulfilled, if you want to be admired, respected, and honored.

15:17
If you want to become someone that's of importance, self -importance or external importance, you need to keep maturing. And right now, in our society in the Western world, what we have is we have a bunch of 35 to 55 -year -old men who are stuck in the prince mode.

15:30
Even some of them have kids, but they're still stuck in this they haven't actually moved into the next station because no one understands that there's these stations to merge through. And I'm not making this up.

15:41
This goes back 300 ,000 years. If you look at the San people and their history of relationship to marriage and union, marriage goes back to 300 ,000 years ago. And the whole reason is you're bringing a man up in his status in the community.

15:53
And you're shifting what you actually do with your life when you're a child. It's all social and emotional learning. When you're a man, you learn to hunt and provide. When you're a father, you learn how to go back to service.

16:04
You're serving the community from a wider like, I've got kids, but you're still hunting and providing. And then as an elder, you sit back and you let the young men do the hard work. And as an elder, you guide from wisdom.

16:13
And we lack elders. We lack real men, men, fathers that actually understand. And look, for the people that don't have kids, I get it. There's a lot of you. Service. You have to be responsible for something that's external to yourself to understand what I'm talking about.

16:30
I don't have an on -off switch. I've got kids. I'm always in service. Serve them first. Handle myself second. Until you live in that world, you just don't understand what I'm talking about. So anyway, this is the thing that no one's talking about.

16:40
The initiation sequence, like the first, second, and third. And whatever. Some people do find without it because they come from families that model the maturation. Like in the American South, there's a ton of crazy.

16:52
Christian families where like this, this multigenerational lineage kind of maturation of men, it's built in because they're just doing it. But quite a few of us come from broken his like lineages, like, and we're not being guided by the older men in our family to mature upward.

17:08
Yeah. Um, I want to stay with this for a second. So three initiation periods, most of us think of one just boy to man, you know, proving himself. Some guys get proven themselves. More specifically, with the transition from man to fatherhood, because that's kind of where we are.

17:25
That's where my buddies are. We're all about 40, give or take. What's important there? Yeah. What's the legacy you're creating? And what's the world you're creating for your kids? I mean, once I had kids, I went, okay, I want to put these guys through college.

17:40
I want to give them a good, like a foot up in the world. Like I want to give them a good chance of life. I want to be an emotionally mature and safe father. And so basically. Yeah, once I became a dad, I like, fuck the me, me, me life, what am I doing with my life?

17:56
All of a sudden, I went, what do I need to do to give these kids the best possibility of their life? You know, and so what are those conditions? It's like, my career and my financial success is a big part of it in terms of putting them through college, putting them through good schools, you know, I'm in a dicey part of the country with pretty bad schools.

18:10
And so like, if I want to give my kids a leg up, I got to put them in private school, I got to take care of that. And so, you know, how do I put myself in the position to do it? Anyway, without getting into this too much, financial empowerment, and emotional wellness in my home.

18:24
So how am I raising my kids so that they're emotionally capable? Things like modeling connection with my wife, modeling repair with my wife saying sorry in front of my kids so that they can hear that a man can say sorry for the way he acted.

18:36
Like, there's a lot of stuff that comes inside my house that's I'm doing for the sake of my children's welfare. Does that make sense? Yes. I'm like, yeah, I'm resisting taking too many notes. Whatever.

18:48
Yeah, the two things that are important in this transition financially, get things straight and emotionally get these. Yeah, exactly. And those two categories right now, that's important. That's the price.

19:02
That's exactly it. Because I have a 25 year arc with these kids before they're like really like flying on their own, you know, most kids will, I mean, they'll probably figure out their life by their, you know, early 20s.

19:13
But in terms of like, out of college in career and on their own, like, you know, currently, it's like probably between 21 and 26. And so, yeah, that's the next 25 years of my life. And so like, I'm on that.

19:26
I'm setting the seeds, I'm sowing the seeds so that that works out well. That's what matters to me right now. And my purpose, which is serving a lot of people, I just I crushed at that. So that's like the other thing.

19:37
It's like, I'm holding my wife and kids and I'm holding the world that I serve. That's very fulfilled life. Yeah, well, it's a full life, you know, it's hard. It's it's all the time nonstop. That's my next question.

19:51
Yeah. So in in that thought, how do you stay healthy? How do you keep your energy up? How do you manage your stress so that doesn't leak out into your relationship or your work or whatever? Yeah, I drink a lot of water and I pray.

20:06
That's the answer. No, I'm serious. But here's the deal. I drink a lot of water. So I keep a vital body. I eat healthy. I eat good food, clean food, organic food. I cook most dinner myself or my wife does.

20:17
And then gratitude every single week I start my week with. Thanks for the health. Thanks for where I'm at. Thanks for my success. Like I hold real gratitude, you know, with with the divine, you know, and I don't know what your listeners.

20:32
Yeah, I have a relationship to God. I have a relationship to, you know, a lot. There's a spiritual realm that exists out there. I do believe that's quite substantive and real. So I practice with it meditation mindfulness prayer And then the other thing is I do capacity expansion and vitality enhancing practices.

20:49
So Kundalini yoga is a great yogic Practice that is really about vitality and increasing the energy we have in our bodies and I do that so that I'm vital and capable You know, how do I crush it at work?

21:02
70 hours a week still serve my kids put them to bed with a smile on my face and wake up every day and do it again You know, that's what I'm aiming at Yeah, yeah, listen Yeah, it's cool with your With your coaching so getting into the people that you coach and the people that you work with then the groups one -on -one Yeah, have you ever used an unconventional technique or an exercise in your coaching that yielded?

21:26
Unexpected yet remarkable results. Yeah, I mean I'm honest honesty It's like I kid you not what most people don't do in coaching or in therapy is give people the honest feedback they need You know Like someone will be talking about a circumstance that are in and therapists and coaches will go like oh well How's that working out for you?

21:46
Which is like the laziest coaching you could ever ask like for where would I I don't do this all the time? But there have been circumstances where I've just called someone out and been like you're a fucking asshole Like why would you do that to people and do you realize that you're an asshole?

21:59
like do you realize that like the experience your wife is having and the people around you like so I really draw out and Show somebody the truth of their moment and that's pretty fucking edgy and it's hard to do and it's a little I don't I don't Like to do it.

22:12
But like yeah, I will tell somebody the truth And that's what we need actually and you know, sometimes that works sometimes you might not get the best result But people pay me a lot to get my truth And so it does work because people respect what I have to say But you know in big rooms in big rooms with a lot of men at lower dollar points sometimes, but there's pushback I had a guy jump in a container and he was like I don't like the way this feels it feels like it's too like men dominating space and I was like Okay,

22:39
wrong room find soft men go follow them. That's a good point. If if they're there, they're with you. That's what they do. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, the people that follow me are not follow me.

22:51
I don't have followers, but the people that come into my spaces are men that are like, let's fucking go. How do I build a powerful life? Yeah. Well, what does it mean to be fearlessly authentic? I know what I stand for.

23:05
I know what my values are. I know why I'm here to like, I know why I'm here to live. Like, I know what I'm doing with my life. And to be authentic means I will not stop or shift who I am to accomplish those things.

23:17
You know, I'm here to love well, fuck beautifully, create incredibly in terms of my family and create insanely powerfully in terms of my expression in business. And so I just that's it. And then I stand for some values, freedom, you know, I stand for freedom, sovereignty, the ability to choose one's life path, and outlook, you know, these are things I stand for.

23:37
And so I am pretty unstoppable when it comes to those things. When you've got clients, what kind of people struggle with authenticity? And how can they break through? Yeah, most of the struggles around authenticity, you know, they happen, they happen around when we had unhealthy parents, alcoholic parents or parents that were emotionally difficult, we learned as children to posture around other people's okayness.

24:01
And so like, what I mean, for example, nice guys, right? So your mom's not kind. And so for you to get love, you have to like, manipulate the field so that she loves you, you have to like, do things to receive what you want.

24:13
And so people that are in that posture in life where they have to like act to receive, that is usually where people are not being authentic, because what they're doing is instead of being like, here's what I want, and here's what I'm going to ask for, they go, Oh, like, what do I need to do for the world?

24:27
Who do I need to be for the world to get what I want? And so do you see what I'm getting at? Yeah, I've definitely seen the pattern. And what kind of outcomes are they experienced when they behave that way?

24:38
When ton of resentment, because then they try to do what they think they're supposed to do, and they don't get what they want, or people don't like them for it. Like women abhor the nice guy. And because it's all like, it's like, if I do this, I'm gonna get that.

24:49
And then when they don't, it's like they get irritated. And so what happens is when you act that way, when you're not authentic, and you're trying to game the world to get what you want from an inauthentic place, and then the world doesn't give you what you ultimately want, which is to be seen or like loved or whatever.

25:07
Then you just create this dynamic where you're like, I don't know what to do. And it's really like, it's confusing. You know, and it's sad. It's depressing. And it affirms the part of you that nobody loves you.

25:16
And then you're like, fuck, no matter what I do, I'm not gonna win. And no one loves me. And it's like, it's horrible. So then now, so then they have that conversation, they create this awareness, they've got a choice, I'm going to start being more authentic.

25:29
Yes. What can they expect to start happening when they start to become more authentic? Yeah, the men get confused. You know, if somebody goes, I'm going to be authentic, they go, what the hell is that mean?

25:39
And the reason is because they haven't spent to spend enough time developing an authentic expression. And so, you know, what I tell people who are trying to reclaim a sense of self is I say, choose something that makes you scared, choose something that's beyond your capacity, choose something that challenges you and go do it.

25:55
And in doing something that you have to become somebody to act it out, you're going to become yourself, you're going to become aligned. Like for men, it often has to do with physicality or intellectualism.

26:07
And so it's like, why don't you solve a problem no one else has solved? Or why don't you go hike five peaks over the next six months and like really go beyond your comfort zone in terms of physical duress and stress and capacity.

26:18
And usually when men do these things, they like, I'll talk to them six months later. I've had 10, you know, I've had men circles for 10 years. And so I've given men real solid advice to learn themselves.

26:28
And I've been able to track them over 10 years. And so usually men that go out and do these things, they come back and they go, Yeah, that this is game changing. Like I feel fucking lit up. I know who I am.

26:38
Like I know who I am under duress, you know, things they've never experienced, because they've just played it safe their whole life. And so that's really what I say, like to answer your question, if you're trying to figure out yourself, go choose something that's really challenging and go for it.

26:51
Do it like whatever it might be. I had a 21 year old kid who was like, I don't know who I am. And I was like, I knew him well enough because he had been in my men's circle for a year. And I was like, dude, you should go get a job on a boat.

27:01
Like go go be on a boat, become a first mate, and just like do something that no one else has ever done. So you can just be like, I fucking lived on a boat for a year. So he went, well, first of all, he was like, Oh, that's not a great idea.

27:11
And I was like, you're gonna do it. And he's like, I don't know how. And I was like, here's three companies you can go apply for. So like, I literally gave him companies to apply for he got on a boat, he did that for six months.

27:21
Then he decided a mountain. So now he's living on a mountain doing all this like mountain patrol stuff. And like, I talked to him recently. And I'm like, how's your life going? And he's, you know, I've known him for six, seven years.

27:31
And he's like, dude, I'm so excited. Like I'm doing this thing. And I'm just like, wow, listen to this guy. Listen to this guy. This is a guy who years ago was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know myself, you know.

27:43
And so, yeah. Yeah. Um, so you've coached people and you mentioned you've had coaches. Any favorite valuable lessons or you know, anything that you've learned from your coaches that you really took and said, okay, that shifted me, I'm gonna start doing things a little bit differently.

28:02
Yeah, the number one thing that I've learned from coaching and being coached is that I often just didn't know there was a way of looking at something or a frame of understanding something that I had access to.

28:12
And so what I mean is that every one of us believes what we believe about life. And often the things that are holding us back is that those beliefs actually hold us back. And so coaches can go, yeah, I hear you.

28:24
But what about this? And have you thought about it doing like doing it this way? And by doing that, it goes, you just go, oh, shit. like I didn't even realize that or like I based on my wisdom and my knowledge might get myself into a position where I'm just like fuck this is hard and then a coach comes in and goes yeah well fuck it try it this way instead like just do it this way and then it's like oh my god you're right you know yeah because we're so in it especially yeah we are in it we're in our patterns and we're in our emotions with we're in our egos sometimes we can't see it but yeah yeah I'll give you a let me give you a good example in my life where it had this happened recently so a year ago seven months ago I was in this moment where I'm full -time coaching I have clients every day and it's hard to hold that and yet I need to expand there's a part of my business that's like part like the second stage of expansion for my company that all needs to be built out and I was trying to build it out in the little bit of time I had but then I was like fuck like I'm dropping the ball on some of the admin stuff with my clients and so I was trying to hold a full -time business while building the next stage of it.

29:29
And I hired someone around scaling and growth for companies. And they were like, why didn't you hire somebody yesterday? And I was like, I don't know how to hire somebody. And second, I just didn't think of it because I always do things myself.

29:44
He's like, yeah, that's going to get you this far. This is how far you've gotten doing it by yourself. And he was like, I'm unwilling to coach you if you haven't found someone within two months. Find someone, hire them, and then I'll coach you.

29:55
And I was like, fuck. There we go. That's powerful coaching, right? You can't even work with me if you don't make the right choice first. Yeah, yeah. I actually have a coach. And if I'm not performing, he's becoming disinterested pretty quick.

30:10
Yeah, exactly. Well, and I tell people like, hey, this is boring, man. Like, I want you to live at a level that's vital. And if you're not going to do that, I don't know if I want to keep coaching you.

30:18
And to some extent, they're representing us and the work that they do with us. And you know. But we're transforming over here. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. But anyway, you know, it's good. We want coaches that are powerful that are willing to say like, I'm a fuck no to you acting this way.

30:34
It's pretty powerful. Yeah. You're more direct and more honest than where I've been. It is refreshing. I do like it. Yeah. Well, let me tell you, we live culturally in a place where no one's honest. You know, political correctness.

30:51
We can't say what we want to say. We can't say anything because we're going to offend people. Fuck all of that. Look, as men, we need to surround ourselves with men who don't give a fuck so that we can be held at the highest possibility.

31:02
You know, I don't. People will tell me things that might offend other men. And I'm just like, oh, you might be right. Or I can go, actually, you're full of shit. And that doesn't apply to me at all. You're just projecting.

31:12
But I get to actually be in a room where people are like, boom, here's what's up. Yeah, it's all on the table. It's on the table. Yeah. Some people can't handle the triggering, I guess. Nah, fuck them.

31:23
Like I'd say 85% of people can't handle this kind of life. And then there's like real leaders. There's real people that are like, I'm here to lead my family. I'm here to lead my community. That's the realm that I work in and probably you too.

31:33
And one of the most powerful things I had to accept was that the majority of men don't need me, don't want me, don't want to be in my space. And I don't need them. I'm here to create for men that are like, I want to fucking crush it in my relationships.

31:43
I want to have the best sex in the world. And I want to make a lot of money and I want to be a good dad. If that resonates to anybody, then that's my world. Yeah, that's my world exactly. Yeah, well, yeah.

31:54
Plus you got, it looks like you're in a fitness gym. So you probably got the fitness piece. I don't have a gym. I've got a bunch of fucking rocks and spiritual shit in my room. So I've got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool.

32:05
Well, I meditate a lot. I do a lot of embodiment practice, movement practice. And that's kind of, but I do want to move into the fitness space myself. Personally, I'm going to hire a coach. I had a coach last year.

32:14
I'm going to hire a coach to go even twice as hard, starting soon. Got to get the kids back in school. Today was their first day, so. Maybe we'll discuss that after the part. Yeah. That's my favorite.

32:26
wheelhouse and I've got the experience there. Are you a fitness coach? Oh yeah. Oh shit, maybe I'll hire you. I didn't even think. 20 ,000 hours of personal training experience. Oh no shit. Well okay, we'll talk after the podcast.

32:38
Well can I tell you about the morning class? You're gonna love it. Yeah. You haven't seen it. Yeah, what you got? So dude, the biggest problem for guys like us is we don't have time to work out, right?

32:49
You don't have accountability or like what to do, right? Yeah. So I started, so I talked to all my friends and got that feedback and then I looked at a whiteboard and I said, all right, these guys need, they log into Zoom at 6 a .m.

33:03
They log out at 6 .30. I sent them free equipment. I have pre -written work out. I've been doing this forever. They're smooth. They're all in common. They log in and they got free equipment. I got coaching tips in there five days a week.

33:18
So you wake up at 5 .55 if you want. At 6 .30 your energy is, you can go meditate, you can go to work, but fitness is done at 6 .30 a .m. Crazy. I could go on about, I'll probably tell you more. Well, we'll have to talk about it.

33:32
Yeah, that is definitely, you know, it's something that I'm knocking out this year. So let's chat off the podcast, but that's sick, man. I love that. 30 minutes in the morning, it's easy. I mean, I do that every day.

33:42
Once I get into my work mode, so you know, dad life, carpool. Once I get home from carpool, I drop in and do about 30 minutes of practice, breath, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, prayer. And then from there I go, all right, let's crush this day.

33:54
And so that's my morning routine. And it's what's carried me through the duress of the past couple of years. It's been crazy starting a company during a fucking pandemic. It's not an easy ride. Well, you've done great, man.

34:07
Yeah, I'm doing fine. I do have some more specific questions. Working with people in New Orleans, specifically New Orleans, and based on your personal experience, how do you see alcohol impacting relationships in New Orleans?

34:25
Wow. that's a really good question. So alcohol is a depressant. And it's like the anti -vitality drug. And so basically, when people drink, it knocks them off their consciousness, you know, like it knocks them off their precision, their awareness, their capacity to be like really straight in life.

34:44
And you know, what I love about New Orleans is it's like, you know, it's like the big easy, right? People are easy. Everything's cool. Everyone's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's a big underlying, like the alcohol that fuels that, the drugs that fuel that, the darkness that fuels that.

34:59
And so, yeah, I mean, New Orleans is a really hard town. So first of all, New Orleans is a port city, and it's always been a port city. And so what port cities are, people on ships, they come, they're ship parks, they get off their ships, they want to drink, they want to fuck, they want to like get down with life, and they get back on their ships, and then they leave.

35:17
And so the culture of New Orleans has sort of always been that first. And then the second thing is, you know, the first free Black people during slavery, New Orleans, the culture of Africans and Native Americans and Spanish and French food, music, dance, rhythms.

35:36
That's all here. It's always been here or since the founding of this. In 1600s, it was the Spanish, 1680s, 1700s, it was the French, 17 -something Louisiana Purchase. I don't remember when that... No, it was like 1800.

35:49
So it became American. But what I'm trying to get at is that this is a very vibrant and rich city. And so anyway, there's a lot of benefit, but there's a lot of darkness in that celebration, darkness.

36:01
So it gets the great polarity. It's a duality of... A lot of cities are like that, but this one's particularly dark. Well, inside of our relationships, what types of adjustments have you seen people make?

36:15
Are there any boundaries or examples of how we should be more aware of the times and places that we actually do drink? Yeah. Well, I think, unless anyone that's listening to this, just recognize that if you drink, it has an effect on your life.

36:31
It has an effect on how you feel. It has an effect on how people feel you. And if you're like a high functioning alcoholic or someone that drinks and you're still functional in life, good for you, but it still probably has an effect on you.

36:43
And so I think the number one thing that people have to understand is everything that we're addicted to pulls us away from our consciousness, awareness, precision, and vitality. It's that simple. And you need consciousness, awareness, precision, and vitality to succeed in anything, including relationship or business.

37:02
And so you get to decide how checked out do you want to be? So guys, what are you addicted to, guys? Whatever you're addicted to is going away from... Go ahead, Max. Say it again. Any addiction that you have is pulling away from your vitality, clarity, and precision in life.

37:19
It's that simple, even porn. Every time you get off as a man, your vitality goes down. You can feel it. You're tired. You're late. is that you feel good in your body, but also your energy just dropped.

37:29
And so same thing with any addictions. These addictions usually are tempering the energy that's in our body, because we don't know how to use the energy that we have. We're like, oh, this feels crazy.

37:37
I need something to pull me down. And that's what these are. So anyway, and pharmaceutical drugs too, like all the pharmaceutical drugs that temper our feelings. Yeah, it'd be better to learn how to manage your feelings rather than knocking them all down.

37:50
Yeah, agreed. And some people who are addicted to, it could be video games, it could be gambling, obviously substances are chemically addictive. But all those things take you away from- Yeah, they take you away.

38:02
Yeah, and they have a negative effect for sure. I mean, on your life, on your vitality, on the way you're able to connect video games, they numb you out, they make you like numb. Like I've had a number of clients who have had to work with their video game addictions.

38:13
And it's just like, how long do you want to rob the people around you from your presence and your love? And what effect? Women fucking hate video games. Like women in general, many women have an experience of a man who just gets home and plays video games.

38:29
And it's like, where's my fucking husband? Where's the guy that I wanna do life with? Like he's checked out again. Repeat that question. How long do you wanna, what was that? How long do you wanna spend time away from people that you love?

38:45
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, that's the thing with any addiction, how far away from the people that you love, how far away from the business you wanna create, do you wanna get? And like every time you take a drink or you do any of these things that are addictions, you're just pushing yourself further out into the field of not achieving success in life, love, sex, intimacy, fatherhood.

39:02
Like those are the goals. Those are the things you really wanna be good at. And here's the thing, listen, the reason that I'm such a diehard, like fucking let's succeed at relationship, fatherhood, and business is because when you're crushing those things, what else is there to life?

39:13
Like I'm fucking lit. I'm lit up, I'm succeeding. I have access to things that I didn't have access to when I was in dysfunctional relationships or not succeeding in business. That make sense? Yeah. Some people with this addiction, with stuff like that, we talked about belief a little bit earlier.

39:33
So some people, they've always been addicted to something. They've always said that that's their just regular standard. They've never lived in a way where there's no addictions and they can be fueled by their passions and excited about life.

39:46
Yeah, that's true. Some people don't believe that you can live a life, a satisfying life without those decompressing things or those other things. Well, the reason is because people are using anything, it's state change.

40:00
So people don't feel okay, they do the thing, now they feel okay. And so what they believe is that if they don't have the thing they're not gonna be okay. And that's true until they realize they are okay and they can actually be okay without the thing.

40:10
Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely. Like instead of fucking smoking that cigarette, why don't you just sit down and take a long deep breath and go, actually, I don't need anything and I feel free in my body and I'm excited to be here.

40:21
It's an energetic thing. Oh my God. Oh my God, I'm fucking stressed. Like that's energy. I'm stressed, I'm eating something. Boom, smoke a cigarette, shoo, like it all goes down. Well, okay, you can also do that with breath and it's like, you can, shh, ah, you know, like real breath.

40:39
Like the kind of breath that actually oxygenates and slows your body. Does that make sense? Yeah, some guys are gonna hear that, some guys aren't. Yeah, listen, man, anyone that's listening, if you're addicted to things, it's because your nervous system is on fire and you don't know how else to control it.

40:53
If you wanna be without addictions, learn how to control your nervous system without other things, you know? Learn how to use breath, learn how to use movement, learn how to lay down and just go, I don't need anything, I'm fine, I'm safe.

41:04
Yeah, that's well said, I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah. So you work with guys on different levels, like a guy that's not in your group, maybe a guy that's in your circle, all the way up to people that are fricking serious.

41:18
Yes. People come to you and ask for help. What's the difference? between, and what are the words that they say? Somebody that is actually ready to change and somebody who is looking for a temporary fix or someone who's not ready to put the work in versus somebody who's like, let's go.

41:32
What do they sound like? What's the difference? Yeah, that's a really interesting question. The difference between someone who's actually ready versus someone who's not. I mean, readiness for me would be like, I've seen your work for a couple of months.

41:49
I heard you on some podcasts. I know what you're up to. I want to do the work. I want to do it. What do I need to do? That's readiness. Fit for service. I'm here. I'm ready. The other thing would be like, I don't know, my wife told me to do some fucking men's work and sent me your link and now I'm here.

42:03
And it's like, that's a mixed bag. You never know if that guy actually wants to change or he's been compelled to by an irritated wife who's like, get your fucking shit in order. Yeah, sounds interesting versus extrinsic.

42:14
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so, hey, I'm here, I'm ready. What do I need to do? And then I go, okay, well, what are we doing? What do you want to, tell me about your life. And so I'll take an inventory of an experience that somebody's having, life, love, relationship, finance, business, self, fitness, et cetera.

42:29
I'll take the inventory of the whole thing. And then I'll go, okay, here's the pieces that's not out of alignment. I get that right. And I'm usually pretty right. I'm usually pretty good. I mean, I'm sharp with my coaching and I'm pretty fast.

42:38
Fast and deep, that's what I sell. I'm fast and I'm deep. We can go really, I can change a life in just a few months. Yeah, you're dropping a lot of substance real quick here. That's awesome. All good.

42:49
I'm here for it. All right, I was clicking through your Instagram. A shift in being, what can you tell us about that group you're involved in, how it's structured? What types of people are there or could be there?

43:02
All right, so a shift in being is my company. My name is Max Trombley. A shift in being is my company. And I have a number of different places people can come into. So if you're just feeding off of my transmission, you can just follow me on Instagram and you'll get my teachings.

43:16
If you want to get into my communities, I have a pretty low ticket point community that I'm launching in September, actually. launch it this month, but I just had to build some things. I've got some free courses on meditation, movement, mindfulness, healing the heart in my communities.

43:29
And then also I have these monthly calls or multiple calls a month in my community space. It's co -ed. And then I have a men's space and I have a women's space. My director, the director of my company, Kendall, she's amazing.

43:39
She runs the women's space. And yeah, those are like low ticket entry spaces people can get in. And then the other things that people can do, I have men's emergence. So I have one in November that's coming up.

43:51
I'm going to be announcing it in a couple of weeks. So in November, a bunch of men can come meet me down in Florida and we'll do some deep work around life, realignment, clarity, and how to become more powerful in the way we show up as men.

44:02
And so that's going to be a really awesome. I have this little venue that's in between the Everglades and the Atlantic ocean. It's like on this little sliver of land. And it's like, it's a perfect spot for men to really reclaim access to the wild truth of our masculine essence.

44:16
And so anyway. then also just one -on -one coaching. And I've been doing that for a number of years. And so those are kind of the tiers at this point. What's going to happen next is pretty amazing. I mean, the men's work operation that I'm starting right now is like a 10 -year expression.

44:32
And it's going to start this year with just some men. And then next year, it's going to be a couple different like, I'll have a big event with like 100 men, and then I'll have a smaller event in a very unique and interesting parts of the world that are kind of more spiritually developed.

44:45
Um, so that'll be a different kind of group, you know, 15 men in these very incredible locations. And then, yeah, by the time my son's 14, so he's 10 now. So in four years, I'm going to have a men's work operation where I have a bunch of men helping me lead teenage boys in their initiation.

45:02
So I'm going to open up these initiation portals. So I'm going to bring teenage boys through their first initiation. I'm going to help men initiate into fatherhood. And I'm going to take older men and we've got to get their elders back, man.

45:12
I interviewed a bunch of elders years ago. I tried to bring some elders into my men's circle and I was like, wow, these guys aren't initiated. They're just like, they're like unwilling to actually like sit in the seat of power.

45:25
Like they're old, older men, like in their 60s, 70s, 80s, but they're just like, I don't know. We're just regular guys. And it's like, fuck that you're elders and we need elders. And so I'm going to build this structure where I've got like 20 elders, 50 men, and like fucking 200 teenage boys.

45:39
And I'm going to run something every summer, probably like a month long initiation process for young kids to be fucking sick. Yeah, I do that for sure. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. Yeah. It's going to be like, it's super cool.

45:50
I'm going to teach kids how to do crazy shit, like shoot guns and fucking light fires and fucking howl at the moon. And then also how to have conscious consensual sex and fucking create powerfully as men.

46:00
It's great. We talked about transitioning from man to fatherhood and the importance of emotional intelligence to get our finances together. What's important in the transition from fatherhood to elder?

46:16
Yeah. There's a deep exploration that has to happen for a man that's becoming an elder. It's a year -long exploration. And it starts with, what have I learned? And it's a deep look at what have I fucked up?

46:37
What have I gotten right? What do I regret? What do I wish I had done? What am I glad I did do? That's the starting point for someone that wants to go from an older man to an actual elder. And then sitting in on men's circles in silence for like six months, just listening, observing, noticing, noticing energetically, noticing spiritually, noticing in terms of the intellectual component, like really being a witness to the masculine experience.

47:07
That's what an elder needs to do. It's part of their initiation. They just need to go, I'm here to observe for a year. And that observation year, that's sort of like them apprenticing into elderhood or eldership.

47:17
And then... they need to get really good at giving ruthless fucking fearless feedback. And so what you would do is like, what I plan to do, I have a whole structure for how I'm developing elders, because we don't have them.

47:29
And so, yeah, something that I'll do is I'll have an elder sit and give fucking 30 men ruthless feedback, like, and there will be a structure that forces them to go out on the edge and say the thing they don't want to say.

47:39
What's the thing this man needs to hear? Yeah, um, so you're ruthlessly honest, and open, and you create space for that, which is an expectation, I'm sure. When it comes to being that direct, that honest, what are the things that when could that go wrong?

48:01
How could that go wrong? Well, what do you say? Yeah. So first of all, if you're gonna be a man, it's that straight leading men, you have to also go and you don't have to listen to me. Like, I give men permission to go.

48:13
Yeah, I hear you. But you know what, I don't think that right or wrong, I want men to have an off valve from the pressure that was just created when they got strong feedback. And so men can always say like, Yeah, maybe.

48:24
Thanks. You know, but I don't know. And so that's the first thing. The second thing is I'm careful. I'm really careful. Like, if you are if you're if you're the first man, like, let me just say this way, if you just joined my space, I'm not going to be a motherfucker at you.

48:42
I'm not I'm not a motherfucker. Anyway, I'm a good guy. I'm like, I care. But like, sometimes strong sharpness has to happen. Where can it go wrong? It can't. It can't go wrong. I mean, someone might freak out and get triggered and leave.

49:00
I don't care. That's fine. That doesn't matter to me. You know what I mean? I had that happen. I had that happen. Someone joined an online men's circle and they're like, lost it. And you know what I did?

49:12
He was like, he was directing all this judgment at me. He was like, you're a fucking blah, blah, blah. And I was like, wow. Okay. And then I was like, let's test let's test the room. And I asked everybody else in the circle, what do you think's going on right now?

49:26
And everyone went around and basically was like, Yeah, bro, welcome to men's work. Sorry, it sounds like you're not ready at the guy. And I was like, fuck, I didn't expect that. But like, man after man said, like, bro, with all due respect, I hear you, but you're really sensitive around the man piece.

49:41
And you probably have a father wound that you're getting triggered in, like, it was like really good feedback. And then I just told the guy, I was like, Okay, listen, so you paid for three months. And I hear that this is uncomfortable.

49:50
And you don't like where the way we're running it. So I'll give you an option right now. If you want to leave, leave, and I'll refund you the entire thing. All good. Have a good day. We might not be your man.

49:59
And he was like, cool, I'll think about it. And I was like, Okay, so like, what, like, that's the worst thing that can happen is like, someone's like, I don't like this. And it's like, good for you. Yeah.

50:07
And it's not, um, You're not at a family party or a social event where someone's having a conversation with you and you have this unsolicited feedback. You're creating a room where guys are comfortable to update on all these things.

50:25
And just to be clear, MySpaces aren't volatile where we're just fucking giving people ruthless feedback. There's a very specific format to have that kind of feedback given. It's not left and right all the time.

50:36
Most of my spaces are fun, playful, enjoyable, exciting. There's Q &A spaces where someone will be like, how do I fix this thing? And I'll go like, well, here's how I did it and here's what I would suggest and here's another way you can look at it.

50:48
Is there anyone else that wants to contribute to this? So MySpaces are a pretty open feeling. But I think the thing that you're... Don't conflate though. Yeah, I am sharp. I'm sharp and I'll give really strong feedback to people, but that's not just how I run my show.

51:02
I'm pretty kind, spacious, compassionate. I like joy. I like music. So I do things from a different lens, but you cannot be a masculine leader if you don't have access to the ability to speak the truth when it's necessary.

51:16
Cannot be a masculine leader when you don't have the courage to speak the truth when it's necessary. What are your thoughts on, because you've definitely got the ability emotionally and mentally to just go into really, really intense places and feel, what are your thoughts on psychedelics?

51:39
Yeah, well, it's funny. So you asked about feedback earlier on the internet. I get a lot of positive feedback and I get a lot of fucking angry feedback when I talk about psychedelics. So here's the thing.

51:50
I think that psychedelics and plant medicine can be useful to crack a man open for the first time because he just can't break through something. But what we have is a culture that's addicted to peak experiences.

51:59
And right now there's just so many men that are like, oh, my next fucking journey. And it's like, here's what I'll tell you. I don't know a single man that's currently doing plant medicine that's in control and empowered in his life.

52:08
I just, I, I've been around. long enough to see it, 10 years in men's work. I have never seen a man currently on plant medicine who is in control and empowered in his life. Now I know people that have done it once or twice and then become really powerful, cool.

52:22
But people that are currently doing it, they're like lost. They keep getting like tossed around by the great she, because every time they do this experience, they're like, oh, I learned something new, or I don't know what I'm, my whole, everything I thought I knew was gone.

52:33
And it's like, fuck off. So I think it's useful and I think men can do it and should do it if they need it. And do it, tap in, tap out and get back to work. That's what I say. Get back to work, right?

52:44
Yeah, get back to work, exactly. And I think it can be useful with that, it cracks. Like it shakes the etch a sketch. Yeah, and so if you can't break through something and you might, and you need to be broken open, listen, I break through men all the time without psychedelics and so there's a part of me that's like, you don't fucking need it.

53:03
But like, okay, if you wanna do it for some reason, go for it. And then remember that. Monday morning, you still got to work. You still got a life. You still got to get back into it. I'm a dad. Yeah, I don't have, I don't have a day off.

53:15
Right? And so let me be honest. If I take a weekend off, I don't want to go journey. I want to just spend it with my wife. We can get a bunch of massages and just have the best sex of my life. Cause fucking A, my life's hard.

53:25
I used to, I used to do more, more long -term fasts and more psychedelics. And I'm not able to as much anymore because I need my- In real life. Yeah. And like, I need to be on on Monday morning. That's right.

53:40
If I have a draining experience, I can't go on a marathon either. Cause I got to show on Monday, like the wheels got to keep rolling. Like I can't stop, you know? Yeah, totally. Well, here's the thing.

53:54
You're crushing it, teaching men how to be fit. You're doing awesome. You go out, you do some fucking plant medicine and on Monday you come back and you're like, muscles don't even matter. It's all just settles.

54:04
It's like, get the fuck out of here. I was never much for the- Yeah, yeah. I wasn't a big fan of Ayahuasca. I was much more big fan of one called Iboga. It's an African one, which is, it's more direct and truthful and logical than the Ayahuasca.

54:20
And I was very much aligned with that. The Ayahuasca was where I bump into some friction where maybe there's some things I got to sort out. Yeah. I mean, and listen, I don't want to talk shit about it.

54:31
These things are tools and there's a million tools. I use Kundalini yoga and I use some other tools, breath, breath work. I have a whole toolbox of tools to help people crack open and maybe you need plant medicine, but I'm kidding.

54:44
Here's the thing, man. It's addiction for a lot of people. They want to get out of their life. So they use journeys to get out of their life. Well, it's in your life that the work needs to be done. It's on a Tuesday morning that the work needs to be done and no plant medicine is going to fix your Tuesday.

55:00
Tuesday is about discipline and rooting in what matters. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think absolutely the inevitable. the route is, you know, meditate, be consistent, show up with energy, and you got to figure out how to live a purpose.

55:16
That got to be there and you will never really get there. It'll show you what you need to do, but you got to start shifting your habits. You got to start getting your physiology right. You got to start communicating effectively.

55:27
You have to learn, you have to grow. And like you said, surround yourself with the kind of people and environments that are going to, that you aspire to be like. Yes. Let me, I want to, I'm going to loop in another thing that I said earlier.

55:39
Do you remember how I was talking about these addictions and like, because of your addictions, if they pull you out of your ability to show up, right? So if you drink or if you like do anything that like pulls you out, it takes time for you to get back.

55:49
The thing about plant medicine is it pulls you further out and takes longer for you to get back. I'm not a man that can give up a fucking day. I can't give up a day. I'm every fucking day I serve my wife, I serve my kids, I serve my company, I serve my clients.

56:00
I can't give up a day and I don't want to. So how do I live this life and still feel fucking lit up? Like. I'm a yes to the life I've created and it's stressful and hard, but I'm a yes, you know, how do I how do we get there?

56:13
How do we get to? I love my life. My wife loves me. My kids are amazing and they respect me and i'm crushing it in business Like that's where we want to get to No need to eject Stay in it. Um, all right max.

56:27
I think we're about to wrap it up, man Is there anything you want to share with the audience before we check out? I mean man, i'm stoked to be here. You're a good dude. It's been fun chatting with you And just you know seeing you pop up in my field on the uh on the internet It's been fun, you know having you around I think for any man that's listening There's two things the first is you've got this life this is your life Might be the only one And so if this is the one chance you have to make something of your life and have fun with it What are you gonna do?

56:58
And are you putting yourself in the play? Are you putting yourself in the field of play with men that are actually living their lives? That's the thing Most guys are sitting on the sidelines not realizing they're in the sidelines for that There's even a game but life is a game and we get to play it we can play hard and we can crush it and Choosing that is something that people get to do and so One day I realized it and I checked in and I haven't checked out since tapped in i'm in And once I realized it,

57:27
I was just like fuck. I wish I knew this earlier, but hey That's what we got. The last thing i'll say is You know Not everybody's going to do it And so if you're a person going through work and you start to change and shift how you are let go of everybody else Free them from your need to change and just do your work Do it humbly doing it do it from from a place of just knowing that this is for you your lineage and the people around you And that's I think what i'll leave people with Nice.

57:53
Thanks a lot If you're interested in getting to know max a little bit better We're going to have links in the show notes click through sounds good These circles sound interesting. Um, I'm likely want to be dropping in so yeah, come join me in florida It's in november.

58:08
That one's going to be sick. The monthly circles are online. Those are cool I mean, that's kind of a support space. I do a lot of like In my online stuff. It's like all right, what's going on in your lives and I might teach a little bit But the in -person stuff is where the magic really happens That's awesome.

58:21
Yeah, cool. All right, man. Thanks for having me. Thanks a lot